This sketch was originally transmitted as part of the TV show Shoot The Writers! on ITV1 on the night of 16 September 2004. Words and the punchline were changed.
The sketch as originally written is reproduced here.
© Steve England 2000, 2004.

Sketch: Itch Relief

A MAN AND WOMAN ARE SAT ON A SOFA. THE WOMAN IS SCRATCHING HER ARM.

WOMAN:

This insect bite is really annoying me. Can you pass me that tube of sting relief cream?

THE MAN PASSES OVER A TUBE OF CREAM.

RATHER THAN TAKE THE TOP OFF IT, SHE REVERSES THE TUBE AND USES THE HARD CORNER TO SCRATCH HERSELF.