The Six Stresses of Life
Sample pages from Episode 2 : Moving Home

© Steve England, 2004

The story so far - Pete and Sue have just moved into their new flat and discovered that the previous occpuants were "swingers" (people who swap partners for the night). They are now paranoid that all thir other neigbours are swingers too.

We join the action at Scene 3 as Pete meets one of his new neigbours...

SCENE 3. INT. BJ’S LOUNGE - DAY

THEIR FIRST MEETING, PETE IS INVITED INTO BJ’S FLAT. “THE JUNGLE BOOK” IS PLAYING ON THE TELEVISION AND PETE CAN HEAR THE SONG “KING OF THE SWINGERS”

PETE: (V.O.)

"King of the swingers" eh? I do hope they’re not swingers.

BJ:

I’ll just stick the kettle on.

BJ DISAPPEARS INTO THE KITCHEN

PETE:

So what do you get up to in your spare time?

BJ: (O.O.V.)

Modern dance. Lambada, Macarena, that sort of thing. My partner’s more of a golfer.

PETE:

Sorry, I didn’t catch that.

BJ REAPPEARS.

BJ:

I like to let it all hang loose at the weekend. You know a bit of the

BJ MIMES SOME PELVIC ACTION

PETE: (V.O.)

Calm down Pete, don’t make hasty assumptions.

BJ:

Oh yes. I’ve been at it for years you know. What I really enjoy is the variety. A different partner every week.

PETE: (V.O.)

Oh my God. He is a swinger. Don’t let him see you’re phased.

PETE:

Really?

BJ:

They say it takes two to tango. But do you know it can be quite fantastic when there are eight of you all at it together.

PETE:

Eight!

BJ:

Oh yes. It’s wonderful in big groups. Particularly when you’re all experienced and know exactly what you’re doing. In fact quite a lot of us in these flats do it.

PETE:

Really?

BJ:

Let me see. There’s Steve and Jo from number 16. Jean from number 32 – wonderful sense of rhythm. Even Mrs Norris from number 5. And she’s 72 years old, the oldest swinger in town.

PETE:

Quite. And where do you ahem, trip the light fandango as it were.

BJ:

The church hall.

PETE:

The church hall?

BJ:

Absolutely. It was the vicar’s idea. His way of showing the church is a bit more modern than just tea and biscuits.

PETE:

I should say. And whilst your doing this is your partner playing around?

BJ:

Oh yes, he plays a round every weekend. Usually in a threesome. (PAUSE) Unless there’s a tournament.

PETE:

I didn’t know there was such a thing.

BJ:

They’re friendlies really.

PETE:

Well quite.

BJ:

Yes they’re all members of the club.

PETE:

You need to be a member?

BJ:

Oh yes, they don’t want just anyone joining in.

CUT TO:

© Steve England, 2004