Six Stresses of Life, sample episode synopsis.

Episode 2 : Moving Home
©Steve England, 2004

Pete and Sue (the newlywed couple) are moving in to their new flat - they are carrying boxes. Upon entering the flat for the first time they find a copy of Swingers Monthly which must have been left by the previous tenants. Sue does not know what a swinger is so Pete explains that although they (Pete and Sue) are newlywed, for couples that have been married a bit longer the sparkle can go and swinging is what some people do to spice up the marriage. "Everyone has their own thing" explains Pete, "for example you get a kick out of a feather duster and brillo pads, and I like to come home and find you wearing nothing but a fur coat." Pete goes to fetch more boxes.

The next-door neighbour Chris appears and introduces himself to Sue. Chris says that the tenants prior to Pete & Sue had a spare key for his (Chris') flat in case he locks himself out. He gives Sue a key and asks that she'll carry on the tradition. He invites Sue and Pete to "pop round anytime" to see him and his partner BJ, they're "always up for some fun". Sue disappears into the kitchen to make a cup of tea. Chris spies the swingers magazine and begins to wonder... With the kettle on the boil, Sue offers Chris a bite to eat asking if he "fancies a roll", "I'm famous for my baps", "my buns make my husbands mouth water" etc. Chris makes hasty exit.

Pete returns and meets BJ, and pops into their flat. The Jungle Book is on the telly and "King of the Swingers" plays, distracting Pete from what BJ was saying about his (BJ's) hobby - dancing. BJ repeats that he "likes to let it all hang loose of a weekend" and he gets to "try a different partner" every week. That includes Mrs Norris at number 5 and other neighbours. Confusion reigns and Pete becomes convinced that his new neighbours are swingers. Pete makes his excuses and returns to his flat.

Pete and Sue discuss their neighbours. Pete says they're swingers and that he and Sue should steer clear. "You don't know what they get up to. I'd hate them to think that we were up for those kind of shenanigans." Pete has become quite filthy from lugging the boxes around so goes to have a shower. Undressed, he realises they don't yet have any hot water. Sue suggests he pops next door and uses Chris & BJ's shower - after all they have a key. Sue tells Pete to be quick though as he shouldn't really be there - she'll bring some clothes across to him in a minute.

A few minutes later whilst crossing the landing to Chris & BJ's flat holding a bag of clothes for Peter, Sue bumps into another neighbour from the same floor as them. She is distracted and doesn't catch his name properly. (From now on he will be known only as Matey-Boy.) Sue mentions to Matey-Boy her concern that Chris & BJ are swingers. This comes as a surprise to Matey-Boy who had no idea that they were that way inclined.

Chris and BJ return home, passing by Sue and Matey-Boy. They overhear the word "swingers" and, realising she has been overheard, Sue quickly clams up. In Chris & BJ's flat, Chris says "See, I told you they're swingers. I bet you right now he's naked and waiting for it. It wouldn't surprise me to find him naked in our bathroom! The perverts."

Pete, naked in their bathroom, hears them enters and makes a dash for the door. He chooses the wrong door and ends up in the kitchen. Chris & BJ's voices are getting louder. Panicking, Pete climbs out window onto an outside landing / fire escape only to loose his towel. Crowds below see his predicament.

Pete works his way across this fire escape and climbs though a window to what he believes is his flat only to discover it's someone else's. Upon hearing voices he finds nowhere to hide and jumps out the window just as Matey-Boy enters and catches a glimpse of Pete's backside. Matey-Boy shakes his head and thinking he imagined this sight.

Pete finally makes it, butt naked, along the fire escape to the exterior window of his own flat. It is locked. He calls for Sue but she's not there. The crowds below are really filling out.

Meanwhile, Sue has rung the doorbell to Chris and BJ's flat in order to drop off the bag of clothes for Pete whom she still believes to be in the shower. "Sorry about my husband," she says, "you'll be wanting these." Sue hands over the bag of clothes. Chris and BJ are confused but accept the package.

Pete climbs in through another window to find himself in the communal hallway. He hears Matey-Boy coming and so hides in the communal cupboard which holds the electric meters etc. Unfortunately this is precisely the cupboard that Matey-Boy is after. He opens the door to find a very naked and embarrassed Pete.

Seeing the funny side, Matey-Boy takes off his jacket and passes it to Pete to spare Pete's blushes. He follows Pete back to Pete's flat so that he can get his jacket back. The front door to Pete's flat is ajar. "Honey, I'm home" calls Pete. Pete and Matey-Boy enter the lounge where Sue is standing with her back to them in a fur coat. Not realising Matey-Boy is there too, Sue turns and flashes Pete.

END OF EPISODE.

© Steve England, 2004